The Truth About Lies

Research shows us that men and women lie equally. A study found that 60% of participants lied 2 to 3 times in a 10 minute period. A 2008 survey found that the average American lies 1.68 times/day. What's interesting about this statistic is that most of us claim that we don't tell lies. Unfortunately or perhaps fortunately, evolution has made us liars as a way to survive. Dr. Alan Hirsch noted that there is a "selective advantage" to the most successful liars.

Here are some "tells: to look for in liars:
1. The liar leans into his/her lie as a way to bring you in as an accomplice. I recently saw this happen when I overheard someone call another person over to them, lean closer and then told them an outright lie.
2. Liars use less contractions and more expansions such as could not or would not. The verbal emphasis is placed on the "not" as a way to convince you and themselves that this is not a lie.
3. Liars use many qualifiers such as "most of the time," "sometimes," "not necessarily." When you hear a lot of qualifiers, put your antennae up!
4. Liars try to block the lie. They might hold a hand over their mouth; they might speak with a glass or coffee mug in front of their mouth; they might even fidget with their lips in an effort to keep the lie from being verbalized.
5. Liars' bodies react to their lies. For instance, their throat gets scratchy; their lips get dry. They require more water to cleanse the throat or comfort the dry lips.
6. Liars stall for time to create the lie. They use more pauses such as "umns" or "ahs" so they take more time to tell the lie.

What you need to remember though--even though you have these "tells" you probably only have a 50/50 chance of telling if someone is telling a lie. Even those trained in this area such as the police only get it right 50% of the time. Don't beat yourself up--just watch more and become better at it!